Petulant Mind

It is the toughest task to take decision without thinking ourselves. We are so forcefully gambled on ourselves, what we call ego, which makes us so helpless to take any neutral decision. After all we are not God and to achieve Godhood in this life is quite impossible, for people who are so entangled with their Karma, cutting incessantly the complex cycle of ‘fruits of deeds’. However, God Himself gradually manifesting in every form, each man of us has the capacity to capture the voltage of Him.

Everyday I see so many people; dishonest, weak, fragile; but in every man, I see goodness, a spark, some weak, a few strong. I feel why one must do some good when he is so evil in his thoughts? What is conscience, which people continuously deny still very much tied up with it? I can’t help but to theorize that if there is goodness, there is God. I can’t help but to see a sweet part, which as good as new petals of a rose, or the innocence of a baby, so the question is not why men are so bad to each other, but the theme is how much we see the goodness in each other, to achieve a bit of Godhood, living like a hero and die like a martyr.

I sometimes think very bad, when spruce of the moment is gone, I feel why I thought like that! If the thought makes me selfish and cautious, then why should I think like that? What makes me anxious and worry when the whole life is uncertainty? Why I’m searching for the truth? Why meditation? Why self control? Why not just immerse in the pleasure of senses? Don’t me fleeing from my self, denying the pleasures, which I still think are 'pleasures'. The life of austerity is nothing but short numbing of the senses against the pain and the pointlessness of life. Why shouldn’t I intoxicate and achieve the same end?

Then I feel I’ve learned a lot, still much to learn. And who can deny the smoothness of life without so called pleasures of life. I’m not going round and round, but moving up, the circle is spiral and gradually step by step ascending levels. Only thing required is patience; infinite patience, because when every moment is uncertainty then we don’t have much to do, only work and wait.