Shadows

Weary is my spirit,
I myself stripped my divinity
And turned down to mute fear
The mother’s heart, the hero’s will
Sway with burning flame of love
And ocean of tears for concern
What a pity that I have nothing to give except…
Helpless disgrace and torrents of selfishness
Night and day,
I hear the voice follows me, calling me, sobbing
But my spirit is tainted
And I can’t give a reply
Engage in this unending farce of world
Floating in the sea of delusion, to and fro from wave to wave
Thinking of a distant dream
And miss the nearest touch
I am not the exceptional but…
Believe in empty form, its empty name, empty death and birth
I am not the exceptional but…
Running away from the truth and fooled by Golden Fleece
I am living between two lives, breaking between two squalls
No flash of lightening can express my sorrow
No swift shadow can express my sin
I am scared, confused and lonely.

Don't Evaluate Others

Untruths are bad, honesty is good, self control is essential, love is all, believe in
G+O+D...Pooh!!! All those are pile of shit if
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
WE AREN'T ABLE TO PRACTICE IT.

Practice all, a little though is enough to experience the strength.

It is always better to be an outspoken atheist rather than a hypocrite.

Bespoken Gifts

Give me a pink colored poppy
In the middle of dark night
When shadows are no longer shadows
And rain incessantly spattering on window panes.

Give me a purple colored liliac
In the middle of crumpled time
When everything is burning
And my heart leaps out from red soil.

Give me a black colored rose
In the middle of barren loam
When I can find a taste of fright
And a river with countless ripples.

Don't take away all your gifts
Else I see and weigh down by corpses in my dream
Or you may take it all
But remember to meet me at celestial shadow, in rain of kisses.

Three Wisdom This Winter

Money is a very bad thing, the less you have, the more happier you will be. - Quoted by my mother this night.

In this age no mother will give such an advice to any son. We four members have so many faults but we have a common line that is, we all are honest. And that profound honesty reflects on my mother's face. Anyone can read her face just like people read me. However, my brother has more clarity than me, I'm little shrewd, may be the reason is from childhood I mixed up with so many varieties and wandered like a shephard boy. I know what struggle she did all her life. My father was not with us most of the time, and she managed all household duties with paltry sum of money. She managed her account with exactly what I now use to pay for my single room rent. And now she shows me the practical way of life.

Three wisdom in this winter by mother.

• Money is important. Save money but never think of money.
• Don't run after money.
• If you are honest God will support you.

Find The Unchangeable Within Changeable

We are all incessantly running behind only one thing that is happiness. By various methods, many paths, all our goals lead us to some kind of happiness, whether it is material, or emotional or sensual, or combination of everything. Presently we live within the realm of relativity. Anything we perceive is related to some other existence. That is called conditional existence or relative existence. For example, suppose this moment some comet hit our earth and get destroyed or say suddenly gravitation ceased to operate; our bodies would melt away and evaporate. So, we can see that our very existence depends on earth existence. Similarly earth existence depends on some other existence. And this is conditional existence. If there is no pain, we can’t understand the pleasure, if there is no darkness; we can’t understand what is light. So, our life governs not independently but always depend on something. We are always conditioned to something. Therefore, our knowledge and pleasure or say happiness depends upon comparison. We see people with so many luxury and strive for that and when we get it, we find momentary pleasure in it. The whole universe is under this duality and within this duality we can’t find anything unchangeable or permanent.

So, the question is when this relative existence will cease or will it cease at all? The answer is it will always stay under realm of space and time. Now what are time and space? In a strict sense time is the interval between two ideas and space is coexistence. The time and space both depends on our mental conditions. If we analyze in that way, we find that everything in this universe is under space and time. But the question is where this space and time stands on? And is it possible to go beyond phenomenal space and time? One thing is for sure that beyond space and time there is something unchangeable and permanent and not under the realm of relative existence.

What we see by our naked eyes and mental plane is diversity all around. There is a phenomenal diversity all around us. However, the fact remain is, we are all different by degrees, and not of kind. And that’s the logic behind of oneness. If we think we are greater than the crawling ant then we are ignorant. There are always two things mutually exist, we can’t deny that. But at the same time it is oneness that binds all. We never pay attention to the essence of life but live life like an ignorant. Sleep, eat, drink and all sense pleasure because that’s only give us pleasure and we all running after pleasure. However, no matter how we delude ourselves, there is an innate craving in our souls, which sometimes wake up and disturb our mental calmness. Many people advice not to stay in silence or not to think about misfortune. They advice to busy our minds with many things but sooner or later in some moments of silence or misfortune we start to think about the inner spiritual life. After continuous striving for some permanence we will finally find the truth behind this relative existence. It is a tough path, tougher than climbing Mount Everest because it requires intense mental strength.

Another method is to plunge deep into the world and see what stuff it is made up of. Enjoy all the material pleasure as much we can. Spoil ourselves as much as we can with all pleasant feelings like good food, lots of money, pleasure of flesh, pleasure of human bonding, every conceivable pleasure one ordinary mortal can think of. Take as much you can but remember one thing that it is not the end but the beginning. If you want to find happiness, go for it but never say afterwards why this or that sorrow comes to me. Because it is scientific fact that the same amount of thing comes with same amount of opposite thing. If you are ready to take mountain of pleasures of this worldly life then be ready to take another mountain of pains. Do not cry. Do not crib. Because this is the law. We all know still we always tend to deny this fact because we are cowards; we want to stay in the darkness.

So, what is our duty? We must understand this fact that behind the ceaseless, there is something eternal and unchanging and that eternal substance of the universe is not only the ground or substratum of the phenomenal world, but it is also the support of every individual selves. It is not possible for everyone to leave everything and go into silence. Moreover, it is also not appreciated. Mind modification can change for some moment but again it will go back to the root and work like what it is conditioned to. So, we are pleasure loving individuals, may be some words or misfortune or under someone we can change temporarily but after sometimes we will be again get disturbed. Our ego will tell us not to follow this path because this leads to nothing. Our intellects stand in front of us like an adamantine wall and tell us to follow what logic says. We will suddenly forget that logic is just a mental ramification and nothing more. Therefore, all the scriptures say a common thing that is to follow a virtuous path. Because the confusion of universe is very difficult to clear out and it is very difficult to find anything permanent and feel disgusted at the end. We only need to remember one thing, there is no hell or heaven but this plane is our heaven and hell, whatever we sow in this plane, we will reap the exact. We all understand this law, we all see this fact by our naked eyes, we all know we will dead tomorrow but still….lets strive for own salvation!

Haunted House

The decrepit tenement outside my window bears no bliss
And in night there are too many nasty mortals
There is no song, no poetry, no more love…
Corrupted by undying secret
Let’s leave the house as it is
And move to another neighborhood

Secret will always be secret
And that will die with that house.

I

I am starting to believe that I was a woman in my previous incarnation. Even my mother is surprised with me and shrugged I’ve turned into housewife. Actually, in my small room I’ve collected almost all items of household, I use to cook, wash, clean floor, a small altar where I regularly use to light incense, even like a typical Bengali woman I savor a paan (betal leaf) after my supper and act like a typical Indian woman in every respect.

When I was a child watched my mom how she used to do all her work. I was especially loved to watch her cooking and whenever I tried my hand to cook something, she scolded me and now I can cook many things with equal skill. I am proud of myself! What a great man I am! I can cook, I can do any job, I can leave job any moment and catch another job next moment, I am a walking Wikipedia, I am a philosopher, I am a lover, I am a great entertainer, I am a great helper, I am a leader but only one thing I can’t do….that is to spit this godamn I.